I've been so productive today that I'm out of things to do. I consumed approximately 650 calories today (that's a high estimate, because it would just be awful if I was constantly underestimating). I ran two miles this morning. Now that it's after five I won't eat any more today. I've found that a good way to stick to this is to continually remind myself that I can eat first thing in the morning. But generally I don't break those kinds of food rules. The rules I find myself breaking are the other ones, like "smoke only one cigarette per day." And then once I've broken those rules I say "fuck it" and break all of the other rules too.

Last night I felt hungry so I thought I would eat a lot today, but I didn't end up eating until 2:30 today. I hope I can do that again tomorrow. I already feel hungry. But I'm not thinking about food. After I'm done writing on here I think I'll make myself some tea. Drinking hot beverages always helps me feel full. Unless it's coffee on an empty stomach when I'm already highly caffeinated. That just makes me feel sick and then I feel like I have to eat something right away to soak up the caffeine.

A couple of days ago I ate dinner with my mom and then we were going to watch "Motorcycle Diaries" afterward. She told me to go ahead and start without her because she eats slowly. I almost laughed out loud! I know I've mentioned it before but I'll say it again: the way my mother eats is DISGUSTING. She inhales her food at a rate of one bite per second. And she always talks with her mouth full. It's completely nauseating.

Tomorrow is my twenty-second birthday. I'm not sure how I'm going to celebrate yet. I have group in the evening so fortunately that will complicate any chance of dinner plans. I was thinking that my boyfriend and I could cook something in the afternoon (I love cooking). I was looking through my vegetarian cookbooks and I found a couple of interesting recipes. A vegetable stir-fry or stewed eggplant. I just realized that I have no idea how many calories are in eggplant; I'll have to look that up.

I love looking at cook books, which is a habit I picked up in the very beginning of my disordered eating. I took an interest in vegetarianism as a way to lose weight, and have been obsessed with vegetarian/vegan cooking ever since. I practically collect vegetarian cook books. Actually I guess you could technically classify it as a real collection - I own nine of them. And it's been a long time since I bought a new one and I'm really thinking I should get on it. I haven't even made a fraction of the recipes in them, but I just love to look at them and read the sections on vegetarian nutrition and how to pick out good vegetables etc.

I can't seem to get warm today. I've noticed that if it's really cold out during my morning run, I often stay cold for the rest of the day. It's weird because I wasn't cold while I was running (obviously; I was running) but I've been cold ever since. I guess I don't really mind - it keeps me busy because I have to move more in order to stay warm.

Writing this is making me really sleepy all of the sudden. I guess I'll have to have earl grey tea (is it grey or gray?). Maybe I'll smoke my daily cigarette now too. I need all the boost I can get, since I still have another six and a half hours until bedtime.