It's my effing birthday!!!

I figured I'm probably going to be pretty busy for the rest of the day, so I'd better write now. Still haven't eaten yet today. I'm supposed to meet a friend for coffee (I'm never tempted by pastry so that shouldn't be problematic) and then the BF. I really don't see any glitches ahead.

And I picked out a brightly-colored outfit that my sister says makes me look like a cartoon character (yes! just the look I was going for). I just have to not spend the night at my BF's tonight. Oh also I'm not sure when I'll have time to do my daily hour of cleaning. Maybe I can clean the kitchen while we're cooking.

I figure it's unfair to not report my weight, because for all anyone knows I could already be skinny or be super obese (which is how I feel), so:
SW: 157.8
CW: 151.0
GW1: 135.0
GW2: 125.0
GW3: 118.0
FGW: 111.0
Man, I always thought it would be daunting to look at that in print, but it actually feels good and very thinspiring. My stomach is growling comfortingly. I haven't eaten since 3:00 pm yesterday. But looking at my current weight in print is scary, too. My start weight was the most I've ever weighed in my life. I hadn't stepped on a scale in months. In part I didn't care about my looks because I was drunk and high all the time, but deep down I realized what I was doing to my body and I didn't want to have to see the proof of it on the scale. I bought a fancy new scale when I started this diet. It was sooo expensive, but totally worth it. Before that we had a tiny dial one, and I hated looking at it and thinking, "that could be anywhere between 146 and 149." The place my friend and I are going to for coffee is new for me. I have this irrational fear of going to new places for the first time. But I wouldn't say I hate it; I just hate that first minute when I walk in and look around and wonder where I'm supposed to stand and if anyone can tell I'm scared.

My best birthday by far was my 18th. My twentieth was pretty good too, and my twenty-first. Somehow I managed not to black out on my 21st birthday, something that became increasingly harder as the year went by. Argh I miss drinking. No, NO I DON'T!!!! All those calories and losing self-control - awful!! Who would voluntarily do that to themselves?! (There we go, that's the spirit!)

All right, time to go celebrate the sober way.