First day of school!! I can't believe it's my last quarter. I was telling everyone I saw, even people I didn't know. Like I'd turn to someone sitting next to me and say, "are you excited for this class? It's my last quarter!" I have never gotten straight 4.0s in a single quarter at the university, and so I'm feeling a lot of self-imposed pressure because it's my last chance. I suppose I shouldn't stress too much about it, but now that I don't have a job it seems like I have no excuse not to.

Since I've been sleeping in I feel really pressed for time too. When I was in highschool I woke up at 4:00 am every single day. Now it's nearly impossible for me to wake up earlier than 8:00.

My flu is awful today. I started coughing, which is the worst. For starters, it's painful. And people give you dirty looks like you're doing it on purpose just to infect them so that you won't be alone in your illness. And it's loud; I hate drawing attention to myself, especially in the middle of a crowded auditorium.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to have vegan dinner with my best friend. Since I'm not eating after 5:00 pm, I already thought of the perfect excuse to avoid food. This is one of those once in a lifetime excuses that I feel completely brilliant for having come up with:
"Oh I forgot when we planned this that I getting my blood drawn tomorrow morning and I'm not supposed to eat for 24 hours in advance! I know, it sucks. Could I take some home with me in a tupperware so I can eat it first thing when I'm done with my doctor's appointment tomorrow?"

Yep. Perfect. I wonder what we're making. I hope it's nothing too tempting. I have class from 1:30 to 5:30 so I had probably better pack a snack so that I don't succumb to temptation at "J's". Maybe I should buy some chewing gum, too. I've found that gum works great from keeping me from taking that first bite that so often proves fatal. It gets me every time. I'll agree (after much coercion) to "just try a bite" of something someone made from scratch and then I'll find myself going all out. All-or-nothing is an integral part of my personality. One that I'm working on, since I had to learn the hard way about "everything in moderation."

I felt myself sliding into a binge earlier this evening but then I wondered how much water I had had to drink today. I made an agreement with myself to finish two glasses, and then if I still felt like bingeing, I could. By the time I was done, the urge had passed! We're learning about cravings in outpatient and the most important thing I've gotten out of it is that all urges pass, and most of them last absolutely no longer than fifteen minutes. That is extremely comforting. Remind yourself of it when you're fighting temptations.