149.4

Foodwise, today was a pretty weird day. Luckily it wasn't raining out this morning (although it was ridiculously cold) so I got to go running. The elliptical trainer at my house broke yesterday and I don't have a gym membership so for now, running is my only option.

I ran some errands this morning (no class on Fridays, yay!) and made a very simple cabbage soup when I got home (onion, garlic, cabbage, and lots of salt and pepper). Then I ran some more errands and got home around 4:00, at which point I was pretty famished. I ate an avocado salad, (one avocado plus 10 cherry tomatoes plus balsamic vinegar and salt/pepper), and one piece of bread (par-baked which I heated slightly). Although I was no longer hungry I recognized an insatiable thirst for EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT. I thought maybe if I just had another piece of bread it would go away. So put one in the oven and then changed my mind, turned off the oven and went upstairs. But the feeling would not go away. I realized that if I didn't eat something now, I would break my no-eating-after-5:00 rule, which would lead to a binge. I always binge if I break my eating rules. So I went to the kitchen and looked around. Stuck the bread back in the oven and pulled out some lemon sandwich cookies. "I'll have two of these and my bread, finish before 5:00 and be done for the night." But as I took the two cookies to my seat at the table, I sadly thought of what this late-in-the-day carb-eating would do so my nightly weigh-in. Then, right after my first bite, my dad walked in and told me he was going to get the car serviced. I would have the whole house to myself! I immediately decided to purge the disgusting meal I was about to consume. And since I was going to throw it all up anyway, I figured I could add six more cookies to my meal.

Purging went well, I think. In Wasted, Marya Hornbacher said something about eating colorful foods first as a marker for when you're finished. I don't know if it was because of the water I drank or what, but my meal came up in the exact SAME order it went down. Avocados, then bread, then cookies. Vomit that smells like avocado is probably the most disgusting thing I have ever encountered. Afterward, my heart was beating really fast but I felt calm: not happy, but not freaking out. I experienced a slight twinge of nervousness: what if it's all still in there and I really just puked up thick colored water??? But I'm feeling good now and my stomach is growling reassuringly.

Today's intake:

Breakfast: 1 (full calorie) vitamin water
Lunch: 2 large bowls of cabbage soup (stole it from another girl's blog: 1/4 tsp olive oil, onion, garlic, cabbage, celery, soy sauce and salt/pepper. I added chili powder)
Dinner (purged): avocado salad (1 avocado, 10 cherry tomatoes, balsamic vinegar and salt/pepper), 2/3 loaf of par-baked bread (baguette), 8 lemon sandwich cookies
"Snack": 1 low-cal vitamin water

So I guess I consumed somewhere in between 400 and 1820 calories. I am pretty sure it's somewhere on the low side. Maybe 600 total? 800?