Returned to place. I have had a long but very productive day. I got a lot of things done that needed doing and that I had been putting off for a long time because I really didn't want to do them. But now that they're done it's a HUGE weight (unfortunately figurative) off my chest.

Waiting for the benedryl to kick in. In my recovery I have become dependent on benedryl for sleep. Trying to kick the habit but I had an afternoon coffee today and didn't take my wellbutrin until like an hour ago. That stuff gives me crazy insomnia.

I consumed 1400 calories today. Within my current 1500 limit but it still felt like a lot. I guess technically it is. And it wasn't contained, sitting-down and concentrating eating, so it didn't feel controlled, either. Tomorrow I am having lunch with the BF at Claim Jumper - the restaurant that specifically caters to lard-asses.

Situations like these are where my restrictive diet comes in handy. I basically can't have anything on the menu. Salad but hold the creamy dressing and I can't eat the bread that comes with it, which is probably made with milk and always comes slathered in butter anyway. But unfortunately these places know how to make even the most innocent of salads lethal in terms of calorie-content. I'm sure there will be like two cups of dressing and greasy croutons. I'm going to see if there's nutrition info available online.

Veganism is an excellent cover for restrictive eating. It is ridiculously easy to make a vegan lifestyle choice seem unrelated to weight, because you can defend it with religion, animal rights, environmentalism, conservation (my preferred justification), etc. Just take a look at the PETA site. no one can try to force you to eat cheese if you confront them with, "do you have any idea what they do to dairy cows once they've passed their prime production age?" Plus it automatically cust out eggs, dairy and meat, which are usually centerpieces of high-calorie entrees. But if you've been caught restricting before, going vegan will look very suspicious, so be careful. I would recommend, though not from any previous experience, starting a very visible and relatively slow progression into becoming an animal rights advocate. Make your friends and family watch a PETA video, loudly proclaim how unsexy it is to wear dead animals, etc. Then the vegan thing will seem like a natural part of this process, and its connection to weight loss purely coincidental.